The Terminology

We’ve developed our own terminology here on the site, a carryover from our former website, and one which is rather descriptive. Most are original, some are borrowed from other sites. So without much further ado:

  • Starfish: Used to describe a user with no brain or central nervous system to speak of, who often just stares blankly or drools when you try to explain to them what went wrong, and their ability to retain such knowledge so that it never happens again is roughly equivalent to that of a starfish
  • Luser: Much the same as above. They may be quite competent in their field, but when it comes to computers, it’s like talking to a toddler. The L in the word is silent
  • Otis: The (invisible) bat we wish we could use to beat lusers and starfish about the head and body to ensure they never repeat their mistakes
  • Gimme the bat: Rather self explanatory, when a tech is at their wits’ end, and feels the only way to fix it is to go full Office Space on the problem/luser.
  • *Tink*: the sound Otis makes when it makes contact.
  • ZGB: Short for Zombie Goat Bukkake. Coined by CommanderData, a member of the old site, it’s a phrase used to describe pretty much the most vile and disgusting form of porn imaginable. There have been no confirmed reports of such porn ever found online, but thanks to Rule 34, most feel that if it doesn’t exist yet, it is simply a matter of time.
  • Down burrkiss: named in honor of a member on the old site, burrkiss, who took everything that route, the phrase is used whenever there was even a vague chance a phrase could be taken in a sexual context.
  • PFY: Pimple-Faced Youth. Used to describe any young or new person who is just starting out in the IT world, and has yet to earn their chops. They are often stuck with the most menial, undesirable, and occasionally disgusting tasks in the IT world, having to earn their way up.
  • BOFH: Bastard Operator From Hell. This is a tech/sysadmin/etc. you do not wish to piss off, for they can revoke your permissions, flood your computer with vile porn, and generally make your life miserable for the slightest infraction. They are most content to be left alone to their systems, snacks and caffeinated drinks. Mosy PFY’s long to become BOFH’s one day.
  • PEBCAK: Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard. In other words, the problem with the computer was the person using it and not the computer itself 🙂
  • $deity: Used to invoke the deity of one’s own personal religious preferences. Since we come from diverse religious and cultural backgrounds, it is incumbent upon us to use this so that all such backgrounds and beliefs are respected, since we are better in diverse unity than we can ever be apart.
  • Judy Patch: A name used to describe anyone who thinks they know a thing or two about computers, but only succeeds in proving the depth of their ineptitude. The name stems from a website (Link) supposedly set up by someone named Judy Patch. We can only assume she did so after hearing a few IT buzzwords and declaring herself a computer expert, but only succeeded in visitors desperately wanting to gouge their eyes out because of the garish color scheme & fonts, the hilariously wrong terminology, pictures that simply don’t match what’s described, and the fact that she truly believed that IP addresses are how the government tracks things online. In fact, the site was supposedly hacked, and she was soliciting donations to get it back up and running, but little if anything was ever done. Even though the site was set up in the early 2000’s, there is still a measure of debate to this day whether or not Judy was, in fact, a real person who set this up from the honest belief that she was a computer expert (despite being the opposite), or whether this was simply a practical joke on the part of an IT person who only wanted to do something like this for a laugh and to troll lusers & starfish.