Strange Cheetah Behavior

“Strange Cheetah Behavior.” I don’t work in a zoo, but that was the title of a trouble ticket assigned to me. Now Cheetah is the code name for one of our internal systems, so that was actually the only word in the title that conveys any meaning, and it did fall within my purview.

I studied the details in the ticket, and it sounded like a genuine bug to me. I kicked it over to the developer who supports that software, and he replied with this unhelpful but probably accurate disposition: “Works as designed.” I then discussed it with the developer’s manager, who filled me in on the background on why Cheetah was designed the way it was.

So I closed the issue and told the submitter three things:

  1. Works as designed. The designers did not have your use case in mind and I can see why you want changes. If you want to pursue this, reopen it as an enhancement request rather than a bug report.
  2. Your department has a history of ignoring some of the data coming out of this system. Unless there are changes on your end, all we’ll accomplish would be ignoring the data faster. (Yes, I actually wrote that in my comment in Jira.)
  3. This last one I didn’t put in writing. But I told them to give the new issue a more descriptive title than “Strange Cheetah Behavior”, or else I would have to assign it to a wildlife psychologist.

I dreamed about this site

(So last night I had a tech support style dream, and in the dream I submitted an end-user quote to Not My Monkies, complete with the garish color scheme. When I woke up, it was still coherent, So here goes…)

Power User Phrase of the Day: How do I rename my Recycle Bin so I can use it for something else?

(My subconscious was influenced by the comic starting here: https://www.eviscerati.org/comics/comic/hd/2017/01/Special-Files )

End user phrase of the day

“Why does it tell you to press F1 when there’s no keyboard?”

Back story:

The BIOS error message was partly off the screen and I had to interpret what it meant when it said:

board error.

ss F1 to continue.

Back back story:

There was no keyboard because Facebook or whatever was loading slow and he had whacked the keyboard against the desk.