Mr. Button-Pusher

A while back, I had this one user who seemingly called me on a daily basis, who I will refer to as Mr. Button-Pusher because he had an unerring ability to push every one of my buttons.

He started off on the wrong foot right away when he called to complain about his new laptop. “The guys that set this up didn’t put nuthin’ on it,” he neeped. “I mean, it’s just a basic install. I got nuthin’ I need on here. This happens every goddam time, they send these laptops to us and they never have the stuff we need on ’em.”

Now, this pissed me off something fierce, because I recognized this guy’s name and I knew that I had been the one who set up this laptop for him, and I made sure he had all the pre-loaded software requested loaded on it before I sent it to him. This included MS Office 2016, 7-Zip, Citrix (already set up to use single sign-on) and some company-specific software that is a major bitch to install, and takes forever, but we do it and do it well.

What I don’t do, however, in fact what I can’t do, is arrange his desktop so that it looks just like his old one did. I also can’t migrate any files he might have saved to his HDD on his original laptop or browser favorites, for the simple reason that I was never given his original laptop. This isn’t some oversight; this guy’s location is nowhere near me (our desk is literally six guys for the entire company, and multiple locations just don’t have onsite service at all) and he wasn’t supposed to send the laptop to us. Generally stuff like what he wanted is done once he gets the laptop, plus he’s really not supposed to be saving his important stuff on his HDD. That’s why they have personal drives on our network, but of course, this guy is one of those users who didn’t even know saving to a networked drive was an option, and was also one of those guys who assumes that if he doesn’t see a shortcut for it on his desktop, assumes it’s simply not there, whatever it is.

Thus, he was certain that he didn’t have his apps (even though a few of them actually did have desktop shortcuts) and was pissed that I couldn’t magically pull his files and browser shortcuts from his old laptop to the new one. I patiently sat on the phone with him for nearly two hours helping him get all that done. It wouldn’t have taken nearly so long if the guy had just shut the hell up and let me do my job, but no, he kept blabbering about our poor service and how every time he calls us he has to call back later because something else has gone wrong.

Which brings me to another major button he pushed: several times during calls with him, something else would go wrong on his end. One time it was his Citrix randomly crashing to the point where I had to reinstall it. Another time he put his laptop in a dock while talking to me and his left monitor started to flicker with lines running through it. Still a third time, at least an hour after he talked to me, the background color on one of his apps “randomly” changed. All three times he was certain that I had done something to cause it. This pissed me off for two reasons: one, I’m quite sure that in at least two of those cases he caused the problem himself and two, in none of those cases had I done anything to his computer that was capable of causing the kind of problem he was having.

The Citrix problem actually began after he’d spoken with a different tech who had uninstalled/reinstalled his Citrix and the user apparently felt like he hadn’t done it right and did it again later himself. Incorrectly. The monitor issue likely wasn’t his fault, but how on earth could I, several hundred miles away from him, cause just one of his monitors to start flickering, especially since I literally had yet to do anything on that call other than check his network connection settings? (The initial reason for his call was intermittent connectivity.) The third time, I am quite certain he changed the color himself, and of course, reacted to this minor change as if it was the end of the world, and had some choice words for me when I got the call.

Another major button he pushed was how he would call about one thing and then bring up several little issues during the call, demanding I fix every one of them before I get off the phone. This pisses me off because 90% of these “issues” weren’t issues at all, just stuff that bugged him, like his connection being slower on his mobile hotspot than on the corporate network, or his home page being different than the one he liked (as if this wasn’t something he could change himself), or his dislike of the default viewing pane layout in Outlook. Of course, every different thing he asks me to help him with requires me to log a separate ticket for it, and if the issues themselves are a waste of my time, all those extra tickets are doubly so.

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