Sadim “Bless his heart”

So we had a coerker we called Sadim, it’s the word MIDAS spelt backwards. That’s because everything he touched turned to shyte. Most of the time it was because he would decide to think for himself, and well he was not very good in that capacity.
So one day we get a call from a starfish that a printer had stopped working. We send Sadim out since a printer issue is a very low level problem to solve. After about an hour of him trouble shooting he comes back to the shop and announces to us all that the printer in starfish office is DOA and needs to be replaced…..
What he did not know was 10 sec after he left starfish’s office, starfish had sent us all an email that ready.

Dear Geek people Well I have to hand it to him. Sadim really tried and bless his heart, but I found the problem 2 sec after he left… The power was turned off on the surge protector.
Thanks for trying Starfish.

Patrick touched something!!

So this is a past story but I feel it needs to be shared. It falls under coerker type.

So A Coerker same pay grade as me is given admin rights at racist boss direction, this against my recommendation that they be given an abacas and stick of chalk instead. Well Coerker promptly logs in to Serve X and flat lines it. By promptly I mean less than 24 hours. What Coerker was supposed to be doing was a simple Server Backup. Not sure how a Backup changed to Format partition. I pull their Admin rights and spend a week rebuilding the Server. Once done Racist boss demands I give them Admin rights back. I point out that they have the intelligence of Patrick from sponge bob and would be better suited to never touching a computer again. Racist boss plays the “I’m the boss” card so Patrick gets their Admin rights back. A week goes by and Patrick manages to not destroy anything then again Patrick spends most of the time on Facebook looking at new hair styles to try. A tasking from high in the world says update Server X. So Patrick is assigned this task much to my dismay. Patrick goes to Server X location and as my day was done I went to my bed. The next morning I see Patrick at turn over and Patrick states something went wrong…. “The Voices in my head all agreed the starfish needed to die” I ask Patrick what went wrong and Patrick says on Server Reboot the system won’t let any admin log in. Racist boss walks by and says I need to fix it before I can leave on my “liberty” the next morning. Well I drag Patrick to Server X and demand to know step by step what they had done. Patrick vehemently stated they followed the instructions to the letter… “mostly” …. “Pray tell what is mostly”? Seems Patrick forgot half the steps in the SOP for update. Which is funny as Patrick is holding the SOP in their hand. I take the SOP and make Patrick sit there while I go down item by item and find their first mistake. (Yes I know mine was ever letting them have admin) about an hour later Patrick managed to slip off and 8 hours after that I had the job finished and Server X was back online. A few weeks go by and not many issues as Patrick was in fear.. Something about me possibly breaking every one of their fingers. Well Patrick was again sent to do a backup.. ( I know does no one ever learn) The next day at turnover I am informed by Patrick that Server X is going nuts. I ask Patrick what they did and am told… nothing. After pressing Patrick on the issue and racist Boss telling me to leave Patrick alone I go take a look at Server X. The GUI wont let me login.. That is to say there is no login prompt. I manage to remote in the back and start looking at the system when Patrick shows up. I ask Patrick what did they “look at” Yesterday. Patrick says “Oh I fixed the Group Policies and then rebooted but that’s not the issue” ………. I ask Patrick “What GP did they fix” Patrick says “oh only this one and that one…. And maybe that one, and that one, and that one,” 30 minutes of that later I decided to rebuild. Seems Patrick had 1. Changed them because and I quote “They didn’t look Right” Never mind Patrick did not have a single MS cert. and 2. Because Patrick did not know what ones they had touched. I removed Patrick’s Admin rights and told Racist boss to take it up with their boss as I was sending this one up the chain.