This week, the Boss and a couple of the IT folks are out on leave, so I’ve needed to cover Remedy tickets that I’d normally not need to worry about.
As a result, Our Intrepid Cave Dweller took a ticket for “Keyboard not working.” I successfully called the user (a known “Frequent Flyer” regarding computer issues) to ensure desk presence, so I asked her if everything was plugged in, receiving an affirmative response. Since I know that this didn’t mean anything truly useful, I sauntered on up to that floor of the building and graced her with my presence.
On arrival, I asked the user to “Please demonstrate the issue” upon which she took her hands off the laptop keyboard and put keystrokes on the USB keyboard sitting on the keyboard tray under the desk edge, resulting in no characters.
Of course, it took only a couple seconds for me to inspect the situation and find the end of the keyboard’s USB cable sitting loose behind the docking station. My statements “Here’s your problem, the keyboard isn’t plugged in. That’s why I asked you if everything was plugged in, so I could prevent coming up here to do something inside the user scope. This service ticket was entirely unnecessary except for me explaining this to you.” was met with the response “But it’s /supposed/ to work! Look, there’s the wireless keyboard adapter and I plugged it in because the cord’s too short to reach where I want it to go.” This was accompanied by pointing at a miniature USB dongle sticking out the far side of the computer, plugged-in near another similar one that’s running her wireless mouse.
At this point, I merely shook my head, called the guy over who had provided her with the USB dongle that I’d freshly removed from the computer, and told him “Next time ask /why/ she wants something unusual, would you?” as I handed him the useless part.
Then I plugged the USB keyboard back in, tested that it worked, and told her “Just because you plug in a wireless keyboard adapter doesn’t mean it sprinkles Magic Technology Dust over your wired keyboard to make it work without plugging it in.”
On the way back to my desk, the back of my mind provided the new acronym “KSTU” which I expanded as I typed it into the ticket resolution notes:
“Keyboard Smarter Than User”