The DGAF is strong with them

Those of us in The Matrix are increasingly convinced that the Tier 1 Desk Monkeys are simply not giving of many farks as of late. They’ve initiated conference calls with high-level IT management for what ended up being a single user requesting the replacement of a single mouse (I’m not kidding), all because that user claimed it was “affecting patient care” and didn’t want to use a (perfectly functioning) computer a few feet away. The high level managers were left to wonder why this was the case, and the Tier 1 Desk Monkey’s only response was that the claim was made that it affected patient care, and they had to take the claim seriously, even if it was obvious that the user was lying just to get attention.

Then there was the ticket I got the other day. A ticket was bumped up to The Matrix saying a WAN connection was down for a whole clinic, and as a result no one there could do their jobs, patient care was affected, the whole nine yards. I got the call for this ticket from the Tier 1 Desk Monkeys, and discovered pretty quickly this was going to be a problem. I looked the ticket up, and asked the Tier 1 Desk Monkey “Did you even bother to read the notes on the ticket?” He replied, “No, I’m just following procedure and calling you guys to report it.”

My response to him was “Well, you may want to actually read the ticket before calling us, because the ticket was closed over an hour ago. The vendor brought the WAN connection back up, and the local site confirmed it’s working.” And that was the Tier 1 Desk Monkey’s cue of complete silence, followed by a hangup.

That wasn’t the end of it. An hour after I got the call for a ticket, another Tier 1 Desk Monkey initiated a conference call for this same ticket, insisting the local CIO, high level managers, techs from the site, as well as several managers from the Tier 1 Desk Monkey Group, and…. well, let’s just say the Tier 1 Desk Monkey’s were being eviscerated on the conference call. I got on the conference call right at the offset, and pretty quickly, the question was asked by the local CIO: “Why is this conference call being started for a ticket two hours AFTER it was already fixed? Did none of you at $tier1 even bother to read the very tickets you submit before you decided to convene this conference call? Do you even bother to communicate with each other?” And the Tier 1 Desk Monkey’s management team on the call only responded with silence.

After it was clear we weren’t going to get a response from them, the rest of us, myself included, decided to give them the third degree and openly tell them by pretending they weren’t there and saying that perhaps the Tier 1 Desk Monkeys should read their own tickets, talk amongst themselves to coordinate, and check the latest on the ticket before calling us, instead of having the rest of us check their own tickets for them. I brought up the example that more than once, I got a call for a ticket from a Tier 1 Desk Monkey, only to have a 2nd Tier 1 Desk Monkey contact me via instant message 30 seconds later for a status update on the ticket, sometimes while I’m still on the phone with the other Desk Monkey. I couldn’t help but laugh, but I was dead serious when I said that they really need to talk to each other, and not have us do their jobs for them, because if they want us to do their jobs for them, I’d be happy to be paid their salary in addition to my own. Plus, I brought up examples of how it’s looking more and more like they’re trying to create work for themselves, and it’s backfiring horribly, likely because their contract with us is up for renewal and they’re trying (and failing) to seem useful and relevant to us so the contract can be renewed.

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