The Genius

One of the users I frequently had to deal with whilst doing tech support in the Land of Endless Summers, several of my coworkers and I affectionately referred to as “The Genius”.

He was a nurse’s assistant who fancied himself as the greatest IT technician that ever lived, when his knowledge of IT didn’t even rise to the level of being considered nonexistent. My very first interaction with him involved a ticket he put in because his monitor was projecting “fuzzy images”. I went to the office listed in the ticket, and couldn’t find The Genius, and none of the monitors in that office matched the serial number he gave in the ticket. I asked around, and everyone said The Genius had gone home early for the day. I returned to my desk, updated the ticket with said information, and worked on other tickets for the remainder of the day.

After sending two more emails to The Genius, as well as trying to call him, he finally calls back, saying that the monitor I was looking for, was actually in a locked room only he had the key to. I went back up there, and was immediately met with the discovery that the Genius had already disconnected the monitor and put it on the floor. The Genius also went on a short rant about how the in-house wireless system sucked, that he also wanted a smaller PC on a desk that could easily fit the largest PC and monitor we had available, as well as demanding I immediately replace a broken mouse on another computer, and also demanding the administrative override password to the encryption we installed on all our laptops.

I immediately stopped him right there and told him to just shut up and listen. Firstly, it was IT’s job to fix, replace and move equipment, and he was out of line for disconnecting and unplugging the monitor on his own accord, since now there was no way we could replicate the issue, and see if it was simply a loose cable or if the monitor really needed to be replaced. Secondly, if he had other computer issues, why weren’t tickets entered for those issues as well as for his original issue? (He remained stunned in silence, since no one had ever talked back to him before) I also told him if I gave him the administrative override password for the encryption, I’d leave flaming skidmarks in the concrete as $CIO personally threw me out of the building, assuming he didn’t have me arrested, since that password was NOT to be given out under any circumstances.

I also took the liberty of reconnecting the monitor, quickly discovering that it was, in fact, working perfectly. He sheepishly admitted that he was just trying to get himself a bigger monitor.

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